Most people can name the symptoms long before they can name the source.

Rising health insurance premiums that jump double digit percentages every year. Housing prices that float somewhere in the upper atmosphere. Government shutdowns with less cooperation and grace than a middle-school trombone recital. Cyber crime that rarely gets prosecuted. Corruption. Institutions no one trusts. Whole groups of people glaring at each other like rival gangs in a prison yard.

And that’s just the national picture.

Zoom in, and the same fractures run through small teams and offices everywhere: colleagues who stop talking to each other, targets that get missed again and again, business models that can’t adapt, burnout that settles over the workplace like fog, cultures that turn toxic in ways no one intended and everyone feels.

Most people know the pain. Far fewer know what to do with it.
And many, if not most, eventually conclude they are powerless.

But you aren’t powerless.
There is something you can do—something surprisingly simple and profoundly powerful.
It begins with naming the real problem.

The Real Culprit

The core problem isn’t progressivism or conservatism. It isn’t urbanites or rural communities, younger workers or older ones, technologists or traditionalists.
The villain hiding in plain sight is polarization.

Polarization is the mindset that forces every issue into a binary. It insists that one side must be entirely right and the other entirely wrong. It whispers that the only way for “us” to win is for “them” to lose.

Leaders caught in polarized thinking lose sight of the good their opponents are fighting for. They reduce people to caricatures or enemies. They get locked into either/or solutions that ignore something essential. Slowly, their fixation on one worthy goal undermines the very thing they hoped to protect.

This is how people who are perfectly decent, kind, and well-intentioned can slide into a path that leads to horrible crimes. And it’s how people with checkered histories can change, repent, and become forces for healing instead of harm.

People aren’t the evil. Polarization is. And people can choose.

This is where your power begins.

Your Influence Is Real

You can influence the people around you. You can interrupt the cycle. You can model something different. You can choose to fight polarization—in yourself, in conversations, and eventually in your culture.

The process is straightforward. Here are five steps that any leader, teammate, or everyday citizen can practice today:

1. Find someone who disagrees with you about something important.
2. Ask honest questions and listen for the good they are fighting for.
3. Validate that good—without adding a qualifying “but.”
4. Share the good you are fighting for.
5. Invite them to search with you for solutions that honor both goals.

This last step is where the magic happens, because it draws on something most of us forget exists.

Why Paradox Is Your Superpower

A paradox is a situation where two necessary things appear contradictory but turn out to be mutually dependent. Paradox is an observable fact in the structure of the universe. It’s evident in physics, biology, leadership, economics… and we face unwanted consequences any time we try to ignore it.

Paradox-aware leaders understand this. They know that while paradox-aware solutions are less obvious, they are always possible. They’re just waiting to be found. Polarized leaders, on the other hand, don’t bother to look and instead settle for the obvious tradeoff: we can have this or that but not both. They pick one good thing and sacrifice the other. Eventually the neglected thing catches up with you, and the whole system suffers.

Let’s look at two examples—one national, one small and close to home.

A National Example: Health-Care Costs

The US Congress is locked in a long-running argument about how to slow the annual rise in health-insurance costs.

Polarized leaders on the right argue that government spending must be constrained, even if that means some people won’t get the care they need.

Polarized leaders on the left argue that expanding access is a moral obligation, even if the costs feel unsustainable.

Both sides are fighting for something good.
Both sides are also fighting blind.

A paradox-aware leader would insist on holding both goals at once: sustainable costs and broader access. They would see that reducing costs is essential if we want to genuinely expand coverage. They would also see that expanding access is essential if we want to meaningfully reduce costs. Each goal reinforces the other.

Solving the paradox requires creativity, collaboration, and patience—but it is solvable.

A Small-Team Example: How Long Should a Haircut Take?

The barbershop franchise I frequent faces a question about how long stylists should spend on a haircut.

The owner argues that shorter appointments allow for greater volume and healthier profits. The stylists argue that rushing leads to poor customer experiences and demoralized employees.

Both are right. Both needs are real.

A paradox-aware leader refuses the false choice. They explore innovative scheduling, differentiated services, pricing tiers, staffing patterns, or workflow improvements that allow quality and profitability to strengthen each other rather than compete.

And once again, the solution emerges not by picking a side but by honoring both truths.

What You Can Do Today

You don’t need a national platform or a C-suite title to fight polarization. You only need a willingness to lead with empathy, curiosity, and courage.

You can:

• Name polarization when you see it.
• Refuse the easy either/or.
• Affirm the good in someone else’s position.
• Argue for the interdependence of necessary things.
• Invite others to join you in the search for paradox-aware solutions.

Peacemaking is not passive. Bridge-building is not weak. Both require the kind of inner strength that grows leaders, restores teams, and—slowly but surely—heals cultures.

And if you want a practical way to deepen that strength, there’s a simple next step.

Take the Leadership Strengths Self-Assessment

If you’re an executive, coach, or learning professional responsible for training leaders, this is one tool you absolutely need. Polarization thrives where people don’t know their strengths, don’t understand their blind spots, and don’t have a clear path toward growth. The Leadership Strengths Self-Assessment gives you that clarity. It helps you understand how you naturally lead, where you default under stress, and how you can grow into the kind of paradox-aware leader your team—and our moment—urgently needs.

The assessment takes just a few minutes. The insight it yields lasts much longer.